SH03 - Whoops! Someone Is On Our Case Page 6

  “Anything else?”

  “Some of the guys he was with said they’d never seen Dom drink as much as he did that night. He wasn’t a big drinker. They said he was well gone, and talking crazy.”

  “Crazy how?” Greg pressed.

  “They were pretty vague because they’d put away a fair amount of beer themselves, but from what I can make out, he’d been talking about vampires and werewolves. No one took much notice, but I reckon that one of those rogue retrievers must have overheard him.”

  “What was the official word from the police?” Susan asked.

  “Officially, the case is still open, but I know I’m never going to see him again.” She looked around. “I didn’t always used to live here, you know. We had a beautiful little house, but without Dom’s money, I couldn’t keep up the payments.”

  “That was depressing,” Susan said, when she and Greg were back on the street.

  “Poor woman. What did you make of her story?”

  “I felt like I’d heard it before. From Margie.”

  “So?”

  “So, the crazy is obviously contagious.”

  “What will it take to make you believe?”

  “A lot more than I’ve seen or heard up until now.”

  “Will you still talk to the other two?”

  “I promised that I would, and I will, but I hope they give me more to go on than I’ve got so far.”

  “Do you fancy going for a drink, or to get something to eat?”

  “Thanks, but I’m beat. I’m going to go home.”

  “Okay. I’ll be in touch.”

  Chapter 8

  When Neil arrived back at the apartment, Charlie and Dorothy were already home. They were seated in the lounge area, talking to Craig who lived on the second floor.

  “Hey, Neil,” Dorothy said. “Craig reckons that a rogue retriever has moved into that empty apartment on the top floor.”

  “He’s right.” Neil nodded. “I saw her this morning. She’s a real looker.”

  “Never mind what she looks like,” Dorothy snapped. “Why has she moved here?”

  “Apparently, all of the rogue retrievers have been told that they have to have a permanent base in the human world.”

  “Did you actually talk to her, then?”

  “Yeah, I carried one of her boxes upstairs.”

  “You did what?” Dorothy couldn’t believe her ears. “You’ll be wanting to bake a cake for her next.”

  “What was I supposed to do? I could hardly let her struggle, could I?”

  “You wouldn’t have had a problem with ignoring her if she wasn’t pretty. What else did she have to say?”

  “Her name is Faze. Or at least, that’s the name she goes by. “

  “I’ve noticed a lot of the rogue retrievers have names like that,” Charlie chipped in.

  “Weird, isn’t it?” Neil continued. “She asked if there were many sups living in this apartment block.”

  “I bet she did.” Dorothy was fuming. “She’s probably hoping to raise her tally of arrests for the quarter.”

  “I don’t think so. She seemed really nice.”

  “Let’s see if you still think so when she kicks your sorry ass back to Candlefield.”

  Twenty minutes later, after Craig had left, the three housemates were still discussing their new neighbour.

  “This day has been a disaster all the way around,” Dorothy said. “Guess who dropped into the shop unannounced?”

  “Was it Donny with another parrot?” Neil quipped.

  “No, it was Susan.”

  “Susan?” Charlie said. “What did she want?”

  “She said she was on her way to do an interview with someone, but I think she was spying on me.”

  “That’s because you’re paranoid.” Neil laughed. “Why would Susan want to spy on you in the bookshop?”

  “Because of the story she’s doing on what she thinks is a drug network.”

  “Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten about that. I thought you were going to get rid of the fridge and the blood?”

  “I am, but they can’t take it away for a few days.”

  “What did you do?” Charlie asked.

  “I stood in front of the fridge; I don’t think she saw it.”

  “What’s the problem, then?”

  “While she was there, two customers came in; both of them asked for blood.”

  “Oh dear.” Neil laughed again. “That must have been a little awkward?”

  “It was more than awkward. I think I managed to talk my way out of it, but I can’t be sure. That human is nothing but trouble.”

  Dorothy stood up. “I’ll have to go and change out of these trousers; they’re cutting me in half.”

  “I thought you’d been sticking on the pounds recently.” Neil looked her up and down.

  “Shut it, you. They must have shrunk in the wash.” Dorothy made her way through to her bedroom, but even though she left the door slightly ajar, she didn’t hear Susan arrive home. “Hey, you guys, Molly was telling me about a supernatural themed ball that’s being held this weekend. We should all go; it would be nice to be able to be ourselves for once.”

  Back in the lounge Neil and Charlie exchanged a worried glance.

  “Sounds great,” Charlie shouted. “Susan’s home.”

  Dorothy could have kicked herself. She pulled on her jeans, and hurried out of the bedroom. “Susan? I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “That supernatural ball sounds like fun, but, what do you mean we can all be ourselves?”

  Neil and Charlie both looked at Dorothy.

  “I—err—meant that we can all let our hair down and have a good time.”

  “Am I invited, too?” Susan asked.

  “I’m not sure it would be your kind of thing.”

  “Why not? It sounds great. Do we all get to dress up as paranormal creatures?”

  “Yeah.” Dorothy nodded. “That’s the general idea.”

  “That sounds like great fun. I’m definitely up for it, but I’m not sure what I would go as.”

  “You should definitely go as a witch,” Dorothy suggested. “A wicked witch.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. That would be fun. Charlie, you have to be a werewolf. You’ve got the right physique for it. And Dorothy, you could be a fairy. Neil, I think you should go as a vampire.”

  After Susan had disappeared into her bedroom, the other three were left staring at one another.

  “Nice one, Dorothy,” Neil said, in a hushed voice.

  “I didn’t hear her come in. I’d assumed that just the three of us would go to the ball.”

  “There’s no chance of that now,” Charlie said. “But at least I get to go as a werewolf.”

  “This is just fantastic.” Dorothy slumped onto the sofa. “The whole point was that we’d be able to be ourselves for one evening, but now I’ve got to pretend to be a fairy.”

  “What about me?” Neil said. “I’ve got to go as a vampire. I hate vampires. No offence.”

  ***

  Over dinner, Susan talked non-stop about the supernatural ball. For reasons she couldn’t quite fathom, the other three housemates didn’t seem to share her excitement, but she pressed on anyway.

  “I assume we’ll be able to get costumes from your shop, Neil?”

  “I guess,” he said, with little or no enthusiasm.

  “Do you have many witch’s costumes?”

  “Yeah, quite a few.”

  “You should wear false fangs, Neil.”

  “Yeah, Neil,” Dorothy agreed. “You definitely have to wear fangs.”

  “We have a lot of fairy costumes in the shop.” Neil glared at Dorothy. “They’re all very skanky, so they should suit you down to the ground.”

  Dorothy was just about to give him both barrels when there was a knock at the door.

  Neil jumped up. “That’ll be Robbie.”

  “Who’s Robbie?” Charlie asked.

  “He’s the guy I told you a
bout; the guy I went to school with—the decorator. He’s going to give us a quote for painting this place.”

  “Hi Robbie, come on in.”

  Robbie was a vampire. “Hi, pal. How’s it going?”

  “Okay. Come on through to meet the gang. That’s Charlie, that’s Dorothy, and that’s Susan.”

  Robbie did a double-take when he saw Susan. It was obvious that he hadn’t expected to find a human living with them. “Hi, everyone. It shouldn’t take me long to work out a price for you.”

  “It had better not cost much,” Dorothy said. “We’re broke.”

  “It’s your fault we have to get it done at all.” Neil reminded her.

  Charlie, Dorothy and Susan went through to their respective bedrooms; Neil stayed with Robbie.

  “Robbie, mate, I want you to quote for a top-notch job in here. No shortcuts and no cheap materials.”

  “I thought from what Dorothy just said that you’d be looking to get it done on the cheap?”

  “Take no notice of her. We’d much rather you did a really good job. To heck with the cost.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Definitely. Only the best will do.”

  Charlie was sitting on his bed, reading a novel, when a voice came through the microphone.

  “What have you done with our houses?” It was Bunty.

  He walked over to the desk, and looked through the magnifying glass. Standing there, were Greta and Bunty; they both looked more than a little distressed.

  “I had a bit of an accident while you were away. I’m really sorry.”

  “What do you mean, accident?” Bunty demanded. “Where are our houses?”

  “I tripped over while I was putting on my trousers, and I knocked over the desk. The houses kind of smashed.”

  “Kind of?” Bunty was livid. “Are you telling me that we’re homeless?”

  “I wasn’t expecting you back yet. I’ve already put out feelers to get new houses for you.”

  “And how long is that going to take?”

  “I don’t know yet. Hopefully tomorrow. Anyway, how come you’re back already?”

  “We’d had enough,” Bunty said.

  “Bunty fell out with Suzy.” Greta spoke for the first time.

  “She was being totally unreasonable, expecting us to pay for our own meals. Where are we supposed to live until you get the new houses?”

  “I’ve put your furniture in that matchbox.” He pointed.

  “You expect us to live in a matchbox?” Bunty was red in the face.

  “I know it’s not ideal.”

  “Not ideal? This is ridiculous!”

  “I’m really sorry, but I don’t know what else I can do. I promise I’ll get your new houses just as soon as I can.”

  “It’s okay,” Greta said. “Accidents happen. I’m sure we’ll manage for a few days.”

  “Speak for yourself.” Bunty walked over to the matchbox. “How am I supposed to live in this thing, and put up with you?”

  “We’ll be fine, Charlie.” Greta smiled. “Don’t worry about us.”

  “And where’s the rest of my furniture?” Bunty grumped.

  ***

  After Robbie had left, Neil called the other three housemates back into the lounge.

  “It’s going to cost eight-hundred pounds.”

  “How much?” Dorothy looked horrified. “What’s he painting it with? Liquid gold?”

  “This is a big room.” Neil swept his arm around. “Like Robbie says, this one room is equivalent to two or three rooms in a normal house.”

  “It does sound like a lot of money,” Charlie agreed.

  “We aren’t going to get a better price,” Neil said. “It should have been a thousand, but Robbie gave me a discount because he and I are friends. If you lot want to try and get more quotes, that’s up to you.”

  “I suppose it’s only two-hundred pounds each,” Susan said.

  “Precisely.” Neil could have kissed Susan. “What do you all say, then? Shall I give Robbie the go-ahead or not?”

  “I’m in,” Susan said.

  “Yeah, okay.” Charlie nodded.

  “I suppose so.” Dorothy sighed.

  Back in his bedroom, Neil punched the air, and said under his breath, “Result!”

  “What are you so happy about?” Socky asked.

  “Nothing, but I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been thinking about what you can do for me, in exchange for my helping you with your lady friend.”

  “When will you assist me to win back Bella’s hand?”

  “After you’ve done what I ask.”

  “Which is?”

  “I’ll be going to an audition for a TV programme in a few days. You can help me with that.”

  “What is this TV you speak of?”

  “There isn’t time to explain that now. Think of it as like the theatre. The thing is, I daren’t use too much real magic in case I attract unwanted attention. You can help me to perform an illusion that won’t require any magic at all.”

  “And what exactly would I have to do?”

  “It’s really very simple. I’ll pass you an object, and you—”

  “What kind of object?”

  “I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter. Let’s say a teapot.”

  “Why a teapot?”

  “The object isn’t important. I’ll pass it to you, you’ll walk around the studio in a circle, and then hand it back to me.”

  “It doesn’t sound like a very impressive act.”

  “Think about it. No one else will be able to see you, so when you walk around the studio it will look as though I’ve made the teapot float around the room.”

  “That’s actually quite clever, young man. I’m almost impressed.”

  “Thank you. There’s one thing that we’ll need to sort out before the audition, though.”

  “What’s that, pray tell?”

  “We’ll need to find something to put on the bottom of that wooden leg of yours. Otherwise the audience will hear you stomping around the room, which will kind of give the game away.”

  ***

  Charlie could hear Greta and Bunty squabbling, but he kept his distance because there was nothing he could say that would make matters any better. Just then, his phone rang—it was his mother. Maybe she’d have some good news, which he could pass on to the fairies.

  He decided it would be best to take the call out of their earshot, but Susan was in the lounge, so he was forced to go out of the apartment, and stand on the landing.

  “Are you there, Charlie?”

  “Yes, Mum. Sorry about that. Do you have any news on the thimble houses?”

  “I’ve managed to track a couple down.”

  “That’s fantastic!”

  “The problem is that they won’t actually be ready until the end of the week. They’re still being worked on.”

  “That long?”

  “It’s the best I can do, Charlie. I’ve searched high and low. It’s that or nothing, I’m afraid.”

  “How much are they, Mum?”

  “They’re very expensive—fifty pounds each.”

  “Fifty pounds? But they’re tiny.”

  “I know, but a lot of work goes into them. Do you want me to order them or not?”

  “Yes, I suppose you’ll have to. I’ll find the money from somewhere. Thanks, Mum.”

  “Are you speaking to that slutty girlfriend of yours again, Charlie?” Amelia was on her way down the stairs.

  “Jade is not slutty, and she isn’t my girlfriend.”

  “If you say so.”

  “And for your information, Pretty is safe and well.”

  “For now.”

  Chapter 9

  It was the next morning, and Charlie knew that he had to break the bad news to the fairies. They wouldn’t be thrilled to learn they would have to wait until the end of the week to get their replacement houses.

  He looked through the magnifying glass at the matchbox, which was
open just wide enough to allow the two fairies to breathe.

  “Ladies! Greta! Bunty! Are you awake?”

  “What do you think?” Bunty appeared. “I’d like to see you try to sleep in this thing.”

  “Morning, Charlie.” Greta greeted him with a smile. “It’s actually not so bad in here. I slept like a log.”

  “I know you did,” Bunty snapped. “You were snoring all night.” She turned to Charlie. “When are our new houses coming?”

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m afraid they won’t be here until the end of the week.”

  “Is that a joke?” Bunty said. “Please tell me that’s your pathetic attempt at humour.”

  “I’m afraid not. It’s the quickest that I can get hold of them.”

  “That’s just not good enough!” Bunty shouted.

  “If I could get them any sooner, I would.”

  “It’s okay, Charlie,” Greta said. “We can manage for a few days.”

  “Speak for yourself. I can’t put up with this matchbox or your snoring for another minute.”

  ***

  At the crack of dawn, before the other housemates had stirred, Neil had crept into the bathroom where he’d found exactly what he was looking for. He’d cut it into shape, and was now waiting for Socky to make an appearance.

  He didn’t have long to wait because a few minutes later the temperature dropped, and the miserable old ghost appeared.

  “Woe is me,” he wailed. “Will I ever win back the love of my life?”

  “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. No amount of wailing and moaning will do any good. I’ve promised that I’ll help you to win back your lady friend after you’ve assisted with my audition.”

  “When is that?”

  “Friday evening, so we don’t have very long to polish our act.”

  “What are we waiting for, then? I’ll do anything to win Bella back.”

  “Good. I think I may have found a way to stop your wooden leg from clunking on the floor.” Neil held up what was left of the sponge he’d taken from the bathroom. He also had a roll of parcel tape. “Sit down on the bed, would you?”